I don’t watch much TV. I’ve come to realize this is because of two facts: 1.I have slight (undiagnosed) ADD 2. 97% of programs are not interesting enough to hold the attention that I do give to TV. Let’s examine these things a little closer
1. I had trouble keeping my attention on my laptop long enough to write this post. The thing is, I want to know what’s going on around me at all times. This might be a typical replay of a bit o’ my evening: Open Word to write my music review, check cellphone for new text message, check Facebook for latest and greatest useless update about Jane Doe’s child pooping on the potty for the first time, look at empty Word document, babytalk Pickles until he starts biting me, check and see if there’s anything good on TV (see below), open review template in Word, change the song on my Pandora, check cellphone to remember what the last text I sent was, reply to my Instant Message I just received, type the album name in my Word document, go to the bathroom, get a snack, check phone, check Facebook and Gmail, by the time I get to actually writing my music review, I’m too tired and I go to bed.
NOTE: While my ADD might look bad to all my future employers that I just know are following my blog, I’d like to point out my fine attention to detail, and blame my lack of focus on modern technology. If you hire me, I have absolutely no problem focusing on the task at hand. That being said, hire me. Please. I need a job.
2. TV is bad. Let me break it down further.
a. “Reality” TV needs to stop. I’ve seen enough. I’m not a fan of confrontation; I’m a lover, not a fighter. I don’t like fighting in real life, and don’t want to watch it on fake reality TV. I don’t care if you’re angry your roommate’s dog pooped on your pillow, I don’t want to see your trip to the plastic surgeon to get bigger boobs that you’re going to complain about on Facebook later when they hurt, and I really don’t care to watch the exact same scenario every week of a “new” episode i.e. getting plastered and starting fights with people at bars à la Jersey Shore.
b. Why do all these “stars” get a chance to make even more money through reality TV? It’s not fair. Give some other poor schmucks a chance to make some cash, why don’t ya. Dancing With the Stars. Why? I don’t give a hoot about watching the mother of 26 kids who’s fighting with her husband in front of the entire country stumbling around in her stupid fancy dress getting richer. I think I’m starting to sound bitter. Maybe it’s the fact that these people are getting paid to dance while I can’t even get a waitressing job. Anyway, speaking of money- Donald Trump. Washed up actors and singers are parading around carrying out these little jobs only to get fired by him on The Apprentice. Again, if I’m not getting hired, I don’t care.
c. TV shows with the same idea: Criminal Minds, NCIS, CSI, Law & Order [previous three include all 43 of their city spin-offs- Los Angeles, New York, Miami, Las Vegas, Allentown, Silver Spring, Hong Kong….]The Closer, Bones, Hawaii Five-0, etc. Then there are the vampire shows. Those really suck (heh heh). The Vampire Diaries, Being Human, True Blood. How about some adult cartoons? You’ve got Aqua Teen Hunger Force, The Simpsons, Family Guy, Bob’s Burgers, American Dad, The Cleveland Show, Archer, South Park, etc… Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying all of these shows are bad, necessarily, it’s just…can’t someone come up with something new?
And guess what? What I’m gonna say next will shock the pants right off of you. I didn’t even watch the Royal wedding. I know, I missed the event of the century, what ever will I do?
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